PWI Weekly for December 23, 2024
Deck The Halls ... And Your Opponents!
AH, THE HOLIDAYS. A time for peace, joy, and goodwill for all. Or is it a time for putting a hated rival through a Christmas tree? We forget. Nonetheless, welcome to this festive edition of Santa’s Suplex Weekly the PWI Weekly.
Pro wrestling and Christmas may seem like strange bedfellows. Yet, for years, they’ve gone hand in hand like Santa and Rudolph. Whether it’s candy cane kendo sticks or wrestlers dressing up as jolly old St. Nick, wrestling knows how to celebrate the season in style. So, grab some eggnog, lace up your winter boots, and let’s unwrap this edition together.
Oh, and just FYI: The PWI Weekly crew are taking a well-deserved break next week. A new edition will hit inboxes on January 6, 2025. Have a great holiday season!
MATCH OF THE WEEK
Sure there are plenty of current matches we could slot in here, but who doesn’t like to get nostalgic at this time of year? We know we do. And this week, we have been thinking about this classic seasonal contest from 2014.
The “Miracle On 34th Street Fight” between Dean Ambrose (Jon Moxley) and the late Bray Wyatt perfectly captured wrestling’s spirit of festive mayhem. The two masters of psychological warfare waged a physical war here that saw them use all manner of Christmas-themed plunder. Check it out for a fun blast from the past!
A BIT OF FUN
While we’re in the mood for some holiday-themed stipulations, here are some yuletide matches we’d like to see:
Elves In A Cell: A steel cage match where angry elves hang from the roof of the structure attempting to thwart a wrestler’s progress.
Reindeer Games: Like WarGames, except each team must dress as reindeer. The only way to win is by savagely snapping someone’s antlers off.
Snow Globe Match: Where the ring is encased in a giant dome and artificial snow is blown around, creating difficult conditions for the wrestlers involved.
Coal On A Pole: Two competitors attempt to grab a yuletide sack of carbon-based rock suspended high above the ring, with the intention of using it as a blunt weapon. Suggested participants: Adam Cole and Cole Karter.
Mickie James Presents “The Last Ho-Ho-Ho”: Like James’ final run in IMPACT Wrestling, a grappling career is on the line in this match. But, instead of simply retiring, the loser inherits the title of Kris Kringle, a la the 1994 Tim Allen movie The Santa Clause. Watch out for chairs, tables, and the Rose Suchak Ladder!
SPOTLIGHT ON …
There have been some horrible holiday gimmicks in pro wrestling, but perhaps none fouler than The Christmas Creature. The USWA’s “gift” to wrestling in December 1992 had none of the personality of The Gobbledy Gooker, nor any of the evil charm of Xanta Klaus. What it did have was a hulking human dressed in a get-up that was part elf and part tree. If you’re unfamiliar with Christmas Creature, then check out the video below and see if you can guess which future World champion is behind the mask? Perhaps “Candy Kane” would have been a better moniker here.
MUSINGS, WITH MATT BROCK
There’s something about Christmas and wrestling that’s always felt odd to me. Here we are, smack dab in the season of peace and goodwill, and I’m watching two grown men in spandex bash each other over the head. I’ve been covering this business longer than most of you have been alive; and yet, every December, I find myself reflecting on how wrestling and the holidays somehow make sense together.
Now, I’m no misty-eyed sentimentalist—I leave that to Brian R. Solomon—but there’s some magic in wrestling at Christmastime. I’ve spent more than my share of the holidays in crummy arenas, sipping bad coffee, and writing about matches that didn’t deserve the column space. But that’s half the charm, even for an old cynic like me.
Wrestling fans are a dedicated bunch. They don’t care if it’s Christmas Day or the Fourth of July, they’ll still pack out bingo halls or stadiums for a chance to cheer or jeer. When the house lights go down and the opening bell rings, it doesn’t matter what’s under the tree at home or what bills will be due in January. Wrestling has always given people a break from reality. And, let me tell you, that’s a gift that Santa himself can’t top.
I’ve seen all that wrestling has to offer at Christmas—most of it downright absurd. However, there is also a little joy, a little chaos, and a chance to believe in something bigger than ourselves. Isn’t that what Christmas is all about?
I remember an AWA show on Christmas night, back in the 1980s. It was snowing like only it can in Minnesota. Half the roster couldn’t make it to the arena. Verne Gagne put together a card with those he had available to him.
The fans who braved the elements that night were treated to a great show. The wrestlers gave their all for a couple of hours; and everyone forgot about the storm outside. That’s the magic of wrestling. This sport has a way of bringing people together and making them closer.
There are no AWA shows anymore, and, thankfully, wrestlers don’t tend to work on Christmas Day anymore. But me? I’ll be spending this year watching whatever grappling is on TV, pen in hand, with something warm to drink. Just like always. And you can bet I’ll crack a smile when someone gets dropkicked into a pile of tinsel. After all, even an old grump like me can find a little holiday cheer.